Hey guys!
I wanted to share my story of sexual harassment and assault. I've never wanted to really put it out there, but I think it's time to let it out. This will not be my only post about my experiences in high school, but as it is difficult to think and talk about it, I will write about it in sections.
**Names have been changed for privacy reasons**
Everything I am about to tell you is a true story and it all happened at my high school.
I was dating a guy during my junior year, his name is Tom. We only dated about 3 months, but during that time there was another boy who really liked me and had wanted to pursue me in the past. His name is Mac. Mac had a history of depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. He played all of these off as jokes when he was around others, but not with me. It was towards the end of me and tom's relationship, probably around 3/4 of the way through. He still cared about me and was thoughtful as far as I could tell.
I was in study hall at 10:15am on a thursday in november or december. Mac texted me (we had mutual friends). I didn't and still don't really stay up to date on the current pop music... At the time, Shawn Mendes had put out a new song called "Treat you better". I had never heard of it or heard it sung. I looked at my phone and saw what Mac had texted me. He texted me the chorus of the song. "I know I can treat you better than he can". That made me heart stop. I had no idea he really wanted to go for me in the first place, but to have something like this happen at 10 o'clock in the morning was more than I could bear. I started having a panic attack. I knew that he had feelings for me already because he would always make up an excuse to hug me during lunch or in the hallway. I just assumed at the time that he was being really friendly, I assumed that everytime, but then some people took notice of how oblivious I was and started telling me when they knew people liked me and I just didn't see it.
I was freaking out enough externally that the girl sitting at the next table, who I only knew as an aquantaince, asked me what was wrong, but said it in a very joking matter. That was very heart stopping because it felt like me world was turned upside down.
Eventually she filled me in and told me it was a song. I felt very dumb. Then she took my phone and sent him the next line of the song and they went back in forth for a little bit, but it came to a quick close.
I put it out of my mind for the next couple of weeks. I almost forgot about it, but seeing how I am telling you this story today... I couldn't forget.
Tom and I broke up...
Mac and I had a few classes together. He would always try and talk to me when he had the chance, but it did get to a point that it was annoying. When I started to ignore him he would talk to the person next to him very loudly and say "See she hates me. Why does she hate me? Can't you see she's ignoring me?" It was endless.
Months went on like this and I was just very excited to start my senior year.
Senior year came and we had another class together...
I started my senior year strong. Then the second day of classes started and I wanted to just die in that moment. I got to the class that I have with Mac and he was assigned to sit a few chairs from me. I wanted to be sick.
A few weeks went on and nothing happened. Then on a friday in November I was sitting in my chair with my head down. **(my high school had those plastic chairs with the holes in the back... keep this in mind)** I put my head down a lot in school because I get chronic migraines. Then Mac asked to go to the bathroom. When he came back he stuck his pointer finger through the hole in the back of the chair and swiped it across my back. It was shuddering. I always got the chills and then felt like I was going to be sick. I looked at him after he did it the first couple of time and just asked, "Why?" and gave him a wierd look. I thought that would make him stop. Clearly I was wrong. This went on until May of my senior year... everytime he got up or came back from anywhere. In may we were playing a review jeopardy game in class and the teacher asked us to come in and get real close to the board (we were a small class). My best friend and I picked up our chairs and moved in, then Mac moved in right behind me but a little to the left. We were playing the game and then I felt a cold hand with long fingers start moving up and down my back. I looked back at him and he was smiling. I gave him a cold look and mouthed stop. He didn't. Then a boy across the room, devin, texted me and asked me why Mac was scratching my back. Mac was in the sightline of my phone, so I quickly put it away and stared at devin until he figured out that I needed help. He never realized. I had a fightened look on my face and mouthed help. He couldn't understand what was happening, so he went back to the game. I will never hold it against him. He didn't know what was going on.
I graduated high school and so far I haven't seen him again.
I wanted to share my story of sexual harassment and assault. I've never wanted to really put it out there, but I think it's time to let it out. This will not be my only post about my experiences in high school, but as it is difficult to think and talk about it, I will write about it in sections.
**Names have been changed for privacy reasons**
Everything I am about to tell you is a true story and it all happened at my high school.
I was dating a guy during my junior year, his name is Tom. We only dated about 3 months, but during that time there was another boy who really liked me and had wanted to pursue me in the past. His name is Mac. Mac had a history of depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. He played all of these off as jokes when he was around others, but not with me. It was towards the end of me and tom's relationship, probably around 3/4 of the way through. He still cared about me and was thoughtful as far as I could tell.
I was in study hall at 10:15am on a thursday in november or december. Mac texted me (we had mutual friends). I didn't and still don't really stay up to date on the current pop music... At the time, Shawn Mendes had put out a new song called "Treat you better". I had never heard of it or heard it sung. I looked at my phone and saw what Mac had texted me. He texted me the chorus of the song. "I know I can treat you better than he can". That made me heart stop. I had no idea he really wanted to go for me in the first place, but to have something like this happen at 10 o'clock in the morning was more than I could bear. I started having a panic attack. I knew that he had feelings for me already because he would always make up an excuse to hug me during lunch or in the hallway. I just assumed at the time that he was being really friendly, I assumed that everytime, but then some people took notice of how oblivious I was and started telling me when they knew people liked me and I just didn't see it.
I was freaking out enough externally that the girl sitting at the next table, who I only knew as an aquantaince, asked me what was wrong, but said it in a very joking matter. That was very heart stopping because it felt like me world was turned upside down.
Eventually she filled me in and told me it was a song. I felt very dumb. Then she took my phone and sent him the next line of the song and they went back in forth for a little bit, but it came to a quick close.
I put it out of my mind for the next couple of weeks. I almost forgot about it, but seeing how I am telling you this story today... I couldn't forget.
Tom and I broke up...
Mac and I had a few classes together. He would always try and talk to me when he had the chance, but it did get to a point that it was annoying. When I started to ignore him he would talk to the person next to him very loudly and say "See she hates me. Why does she hate me? Can't you see she's ignoring me?" It was endless.
Months went on like this and I was just very excited to start my senior year.
Senior year came and we had another class together...
I started my senior year strong. Then the second day of classes started and I wanted to just die in that moment. I got to the class that I have with Mac and he was assigned to sit a few chairs from me. I wanted to be sick.
A few weeks went on and nothing happened. Then on a friday in November I was sitting in my chair with my head down. **(my high school had those plastic chairs with the holes in the back... keep this in mind)** I put my head down a lot in school because I get chronic migraines. Then Mac asked to go to the bathroom. When he came back he stuck his pointer finger through the hole in the back of the chair and swiped it across my back. It was shuddering. I always got the chills and then felt like I was going to be sick. I looked at him after he did it the first couple of time and just asked, "Why?" and gave him a wierd look. I thought that would make him stop. Clearly I was wrong. This went on until May of my senior year... everytime he got up or came back from anywhere. In may we were playing a review jeopardy game in class and the teacher asked us to come in and get real close to the board (we were a small class). My best friend and I picked up our chairs and moved in, then Mac moved in right behind me but a little to the left. We were playing the game and then I felt a cold hand with long fingers start moving up and down my back. I looked back at him and he was smiling. I gave him a cold look and mouthed stop. He didn't. Then a boy across the room, devin, texted me and asked me why Mac was scratching my back. Mac was in the sightline of my phone, so I quickly put it away and stared at devin until he figured out that I needed help. He never realized. I had a fightened look on my face and mouthed help. He couldn't understand what was happening, so he went back to the game. I will never hold it against him. He didn't know what was going on.
I graduated high school and so far I haven't seen him again.
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